The Secret Life

The Secret Life of the American Teenager…I watch that show.  I used to love that show.  But it really makes me mad how it glamourizes sex and teenage pregnancy.  It makes it seem like its all great and easy.  Like you will get all the help in the world.  Not even the show “16 and Pregnant,” shows every single bad thing about pregnancy.  It is a LOT closer to reality, but the producers can only fit SO MUCH into one hour, including commercials.  You don’t see it all.  I know, you think if I’m smart, if we do it the right way, if we don’t do it for very long, nothing will happen.  That’s wrong.  Accidents can still happen.

For example, in that show, the father magically comes back into the baby’s life.  He stays there at night and helps.  Is my baby’s dad going to do that? Um, how about not!

The mother and father do almost everything for the baby.  Is my mother going to do that? No, she works.  Is my father? No, I don’t have a father up here.

In the show, she makes tons of new friends and they all organize a way for her to continue in school, get her a job, offer their unconditional love and support, HOW MANY TEENAGERS are willing to sacrifice THEIR lives for somebody else’s baby? Not a one. Lol.  Honestly. Think about it.

Does the show REALLY show you every horrible side effect in DETAIL of what she had to go through?  Does it show her missing out on EVERYTHING because of her baby?  Does is show the ridicule she could have possibly gotten?  Did it show EVERY single person she passes in public staring, or at the “teenager in the pregnancy doctors office?”  I really don’t think so.  You can’t even begin to comprehend the horrible feelings that I had to go through.  Try seeing your best friend publicly dating the father of your child.  Of course, everybody thought it was “messed up,” but are peoples’ opinion going to change the fact that your best friend is OPENLY sleeping with your ex boyfriend? No.  The feeling is indescribable.

Sex may seem like a good idea at the time, but really it’s not.  Chances are your boyfriend doesn’t even care about you, or that you arent going to be lasting out of high school.  MAYBE you might, but thats a rare thing. I am lucky to be graduating early, and a senior. Most girls are even younger, and have to deal with high school and a baby.  Pregnancy as a teenager is possibly the hardest and most draining thing you might ever have to deal with; physically and especially emotionally.  I know every pregnancy is different, but I’ve gotten lucky with mine and i STILL have horrible side effects and i’m only 3 months.  Some of the least graphic: Heartburn is horrible. My back JUST started hurting.  Try walking in the mall and getting a muscle cramp out of the blue.  Oh, and no matter how hard I try I fall asleep, atleast once every day for a MINIMUM of an hour and a half.  I could be studying or doing something more productive.  Then, to top it off I can’t sleep at night.  Cramps, is another. My body is stretching and I feel it every day.  I don’t fit into my favorite clothes anymore.  My wardrobe consists of shorts I accidently bought too big a few months back, and stretchy tank tops/loose tshirts.  Pretty good looking, huh? That’s not even ALL, though. That’s just physical.
Try being extra emotional.  Trying to decide if you want to give up something that is YOU, YOUR blood.  Everytime I see something about adoption or talk about it, I cry. Like, I said before, It’s me. it’s the first thing that is MINE, and I can’t give it up.  It hurts when my whole family talks about doing something I cant.  Hurricane Harbor, Six Flags, Vacations.  It may seem like little stuff, but when you see everybody else doing it and knowing you can’t because of a mistake you made, it hurts.  Really.

I’m not trying to complain or whine, I just think there are way too many teenagers out there that have sex irresponsibly (not saying I was one that was smart) and actually TRYING to get pregnant.  I’m just lucky to have all this support.  Most girls I know, wont.  Basically, teenage pregnancy is NOT glamorous.  You may love your baby, but it isn’t fun.  It isn’t a party.  Buying baby clothes, accessories, and baby showers are not quite at the top of your TO DO list.  Taking vitamins, doctors appointments, job, school MONEY, the FUTURE.  Those are at the top of your “priorities list.”  Oh, and you most likely wont find a NEW boyfriend who is 100% dedicated to you and your baby, like in the show.  ESPECIALLY if we CANT even find a guy like that NOW, pregnant or not. Right?  And, your baby’s father will most likely BEAT IT, and date and do WHATEVER he wants.  It’s not like TV at all.  And you have to let yourself make the best of it, which, with all the emotional/physical drain, can sometimes be hard.

Take it from somebody who knows.


~ by ashleysalazar on June 24, 2009.

6 Responses to “The Secret Life”

  1. dude i hope your not talking bout me in the end lmao :]
    im kidding i dont care if you are or not.
    well you know im here for you if you need help!

  2. Hey… i don’t know you but i went through the same thing you are going through right now… And idkk from what i read maybe you can handle taking care of your baby. I would never give my baby up, i mean your carrying that baby for nine months almost ten, and then having to give it up to some other people.,.. But it is hard,we have to grow up, we cant do what we used to do, its all about the baby now…
    But im pretty sure you will make the right decision 🙂
    being a mom is the most hardest, stressing job ever but i wouldn’t give it up for anything. :))

  3. Ashley,
    You are a geat girl! You know that the Beegles love you and we are here for you! It may seem like your life stops after having a baby while still a teen but speaking from experience, it doesn’t end it just changes. I wouldn’t change my decision for anything. Justin is a pretty special kid even now 17 years later 🙂

  4. Hi Ashley. I went through my first pregnancy at 16 and my second at 19 so I feel for you. Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and you should do well with your little one. I know it may feel as if your life is caving in on you, but I promise it does get better. I am now a 30 yr old married mother of 5. The looks, the stares, the comments people make are hard to take, but none of them matter. The only thing that matters now is taking care of that little pumpkin you are carrying. I am just staring a blog of my own, dealing with what I went through as a single teenage mother, as well as a few other things. Feel free to take a look at it, and if you have any questions comments just let me know. Good luck to you and your baby- hang in there, girl! Its tough, but worth every single second!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: