holding me back

This will probably be short, and maybe kind of mean, but this is exactly what I am feeling at the moment:

15 WeeksI am mad about everything.  More sad, which is probalby why I’m crying.  I don’t even know what I feel.  It’s all mixed up. I am regretting even more getting myself into this mess.  Let’s see, the ONLY place I have ever wanted to go is the northeast.  Mostly, New York.  My mom has taken my sister to Cabo, yeah, it would’ve been fun, but whatever.  But this time, they picked New Jersey.  They are going to be going to Philadelphia, New York, all those places.  Even if its only briefly, it’s still the fact that they are there.  They invited me, and asked if I could skip school, but, we got a new teacher and we have a presentation and material to go over those two days I would miss.  I guess it might not seem like that big of a deal, but it feels worse knowing i can’t go partly because of my screw up. I most likely wouldn’t even be in these classes if I didn’t have to get my education finished fast.  & Also, this might be the only chance in a LONG time.  I know it’s not their fault, and everything else they tried didn’t work, and they tried to include me, but I’m mainly mad at myself.  I really don’t know what I’m going to do anymore.  I was way in over my head a few months back.  I’m so lost.

(15 weeks picture)


~ by ashleysalazar on July 2, 2009.

One Response to “holding me back”

  1. ashley it wasnt a mistake, everything happens for a reason whether you believe that or not.
    babys are miracles.
    i understand that its hard and that it blocks you from doing certain things but you cant be like this.
    im me on myspace if you need me :]

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