quick update

http://smashmaster00.tripod.com/mus12442446/goingaway.mp3
blink 182: going away to college

So, i’ve had some time to let this digest, and i’ve talked with some good adoption agencies, I’ve even seen a good family online that i’m interested in.  I’m finally at peace with my decision. (:

It takes a lot of stress off. Especially with money.  I just want my baby to have it better than I did.  Not that I had it bad AT ALL, but I didn’t have a a stay at home mom, a daddy, and this way the baby will have that, and plenty of attention…etc.  I will be working/college and my mom will be working all the time.  This baby is going to grow up knowing a nanny, not their family.  We won’t have time to enjoy it, or vice versa. This is going to be hard, but I see a counselor, and i’m probably going to see some counselors that specialize in that area, or talk to women that have gone through it.

And tomorrow I’m buying my Blink 182 tickets. [: Together after years and years, finally.

I’ll write more later:

Also, anyone who thinks I’m selfish or bad for doing this, I’m sorry. Chances are most of you haven’t been through this, and you arent going to be there with me handing me money, working to help pay, helping me finish college, or up hours and hours during the night taking care of this baby. =/ I think it is honestly a selfless decision. Taking this baby home would be easy, and selfish. I couldn’t provide. It would be a constant struggle.  It’s not like I didn’t consider keeping it, because I was going to for a while, but for ALL of the wrong reasons.

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~ by ashleysalazar on July 22, 2009.

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