This past week

This will be brief because I am exhausted:

This past week has been crazy insane.  i told my grandparents about something I never thought they’d react well about, and they actually think its really neat. so that’s really good.  (:  It’s only my first week and Im almost done with my last class to graduate and get out of that high school.  The first week of college has been okay. Not horrible, but not too great.  I found out a lot of people are going to be here for this baby’s birth.  It’s crazy, crazy.  I met Justins parent’s and they are actually really nice.  Well, I didn’t talk to his stepdad much, but I definitely feel for his mom, and It was so nice how nice she was to me.  I mean,  didn’t think she would be mean, but she really touched me in a lot of ways.

Oh, AND, I get a million missed calls from Justin and so i call back and we got into this huge heated arguement.  Well, this ultimate decision is up to ME.  No matter what his intentions were in that conversation, good or bad, i don’t know.  He hasn’t been involved with his daughter or me at all.  What I do is all in my hands, and he has no say. I don’t care if he has been going through some hard times.  I mean, I feel for him, but I am going through my own hard times as well.   We have totally different situations, but I believe that one situation can totally be an equal amount of stress as the others situation, all depending on how the person responds to it.  He can have fun living with his 22 year old girlfriend who most likely supports him, taking care of HER twins, while HIS daughter and I will be just fine no matter what happens in the end.  It really made me sad, and sometimes I wish that he could have been there, because it sucks going through this “alone,” but it was probably for the best.

I dont know.  Maybe I’m resentful, or bitter, or hurt, or angry, or happy, or carefree, or neutral, or all of those mixed.  I don’t know.  Maybe I shouldn’t care.  Maybe I don’t.  I really, really don’t know.  This whole experience and past half of a year is just unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.  And, I just had to get all of that out.

At least I got to get my hair cut this week! : P

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~ by ashleysalazar on August 27, 2009.

5 Responses to “This past week”

  1. keep it up 🙂 still love reading these ha. glad school is going good

  2. you need to stop getting so upset about someone thinking you did something wrong! some people just like to critize people and you know what a lot of people think you did something wrong rather than you getting pregnant, you not getting an abortion, you thinking about abortion, etc. you just need to become confident so you don’t get knocked down by a little blog comment

  3. Well I know what it’s like to go through it alone. I didn’t have a clue how to cope with it but I knew going through pregnancy, birth and the first 4 and a half months alone I knew it was for the best cuz my sons dad is dead beat and has totally nothing to do with him but you know most things happen for a reason. It’s hard to deal with at first but once you get on a schedule with things, it’s all better 😀 I love my son. When you look at your daughter for the first time, an overwhelming feeling will immediately hit. I know the first time I saw my son, I started to cry cause you know they are yours. When you hear that first cry, it’s just about the greatest feeling ever. But if you ever need any advice on babydaddy/pregnancy/birth or anything just talk to me. I’m here. Much love, Marsha (:

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