About

This is a site about a 17 year old who fell victim to this horrible thing called teenage pregnancy.  Basically here to help/talk with anyone else going through the same thing & share her journey through it all.

revised:  teenage pregnancy, is a horrible thing.  I feel bad for any teenager that has to go through it with no support.  A lot do and I was fortunate enough to have support of my entire family, friends, and new friends, no matter how long it took some to come around.  And, I don’t know why I put “victim.”  I guess I felt like that at the time.  But, i do take full responsibility for this.  Well, 50%, ha.  It takes two.  And now, I may regret it, but then again, I think about it and I dont.  I love this baby girl with all of my heart.  And I know plenty of other people do.  And she should know that she is very well loved, by everybody.  My entire family, my friends, and even Justin’s mother. (:  She is loved by everyone.

Advertisements

62 Responses to “About”

  1. Why do you call teenage pregnancy a horrible thing? I was a teenage mom, now my child is older than you. He is in college, I run my own business. I had free child care in college. Most importantly I have a happy, healthy child. A good friend of mine was also 17 when her son was born, she is now a doctor, who also raised her child.

    Honestly, I love being in my mid-thirties concentrating on my career with a grown child. I cannot imagine losing him to strangers. I know something about this as well, because my mom was a teen and left me for adoption. 😦

    It has been a huge struggle in my life. I will pray for you that you don’t let that happen to you and your child. It is a lifetime of grief.

    • Okay. First of all, I don’t qualify for free child care. And everybody is a different person. Everybody’s situation is very different. And everybody is entitled to their own opinion. But I’m sorry. I know plenty of adoption success stories. I am going to do what I have to do. I know what is best for her. And maybe she will be a totally different person than you are and take it totally different.

      Thanks

  2. I admire the choice that you are making, Ashley. You are making a courageous choice which will impact the life of another in a positive way. You give both yourself and your child the opportunity for a successful future. The good news is that this experience makes you a stronger individual who has been forced to think through issues that most 30 yr olds never have to. A life well lived is not so much about what happens but how you choose to handle it. I wish all good things for you.

  3. Of course as a college student you would qualify for free child care–unless you are rich or something.

    I don’t believe you know plenty of adoption success stories because adoption is usually a tragedy.

    Maybe your daughter won’t struggle with life long issues, like the unicorn adoptee, but much more likely she will.

    That is a f*ck of a chance to take with a child. I would like to wish you luck but can’t. If you are that reckless with a child, knowingly, I think it is abusive and criminal. You should have been humane and had an abortion.

    • Yes, because I post my opinions and my life publicly, everybody is entitled to share their own opinion. That I agree with. I don’t agree with people telling me what I do and don’t know. I didn’t argue with you at first. I simply thanked you, and just shared my side politely. I DO know plenty of success adoption stories. And no, I do NOT qualify for free child care. I am not rich, but I have enough money to not qualify. I’m not even in college full time. And adoption is not usually a tradegy. Why don’t you research some. I could provide you with plenty of links. This is all about being open-minded. I would never go and say your decisions/opinions are wrong. About anything. I think everyone is entitled to their own opinions and the best I could do was to try to see it their way. And you’re right it is a chance, but I have plenty of faith in my decision. Everybody is a different person, everybody handles things differently, and everybody has different situations. You don’t know my full situation, I’m sorry. You just don’t. And don’t say I’m wreckless with my daughter. Please. I would like to, But, I’m not going to try to justify myself any more. Lastly, if you think adoption is wrong, and an abortion is “humane,” against that, maybe you are the one who needs to think twice. Let’s see. Giving a child a chance, orrr, killing it?

      Thank you.

    • Oh, and FYI:

      EVERYBODY is entitled to their opinion, but some people go overboard. Honestly, everything that you have say, I care about, but then again, it’s not going to change my decision. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors, and maybe this child is going to somebody that you guys wouldn’t even imagine. You don’t know my family, and you don’t know me. And if I have to post EVERY SINGLE amount of personal information or private “plans” that we have for this child, or things that we go through on a daily basis because of this, to prove this to you, Then quite frankly, it’s not worth it.

      Oh, and on your blog, Joy21, Maybe I misread it, but you said it would be hard to love an adopted child as your own? Babies are innocent. Are you saying if you were put into a situation where you absolutely had to adopt a child, a BABY, you couldn’t love them as your own?

    • Really? Abortion is humane? Who are we to decide who dies and who doesn’t die? Is that our place? Even if the unborn baby has no voice or cognitive abilities yet, it will. The genetic combination in that unborn child is completely unique that has never existed and never will exist again. To destroy all the possibilities that this unborn child can become is, in my opinion, a crime worse than the murder of a born person. Because of a adoption a child may have to face adversity and problems are normal child wouldn’t have to face, but it is nothing that can’t be over come. Some kids grow up with much worse problems than being adopted. Some grow up with parents who could care less about them. Some grow up in poverty where the parents are gone all night either getting stoned or dunk and they have to take care of their siblings. All because the parents didn’t even care enough to find them a stable family or at least give them to a relative to take care of. In my view adoption is much more humane then abortion. We all have problems and face adversity in our lives stopping a child from being born so it doesn’t have to face adversity is not humane. It is robbing the world of who could end up to be the next Einstein or the person who will make the next leap in technology. But most importantly it is robbing that person of their life before it even began.

    • Why would you tell a young girl to have an abortion,,thats just plain wrong. There are plenty of people who do have a wonderful childhood that have been adopted. It is each individual’s choice,,

  4. You are lying, if you have enough money for child care you have enough to raise your daugther. Trust fund? Because how else does a person at age 17 have enough money?

    I have done extensive reseaerch on adoption and it damages children. You should start with this.

    http://www.uoregon.edu/~adoption/studies/SchechterOAC.htm

    I’ve got plenty more references too. No baby wants to be abandoned by their mother. You have no guarantee that the adoptive parents won’t abuse your child. If not them others too, especially little adopted girls are seen as fair game to the extended family as their is no blood relation protecting her or making it taboo.

    I don’t know who is feeding you research, Bethany Christian Services perhaps.

    I think you should wonder someone adopted, thinks abortion is more humane.

    • Haha, I knew you would come back with that. It’s my mother. I am still living at home. But neither of us are ever home. Maybe if you would read closer.

      Okay, your research, my research, adoption could go both ways. And I had fears about ALL OF that, before. You really don’t know what is going on behind everything. But, i changed. And a baby not being loved by their familiy? A big percentage are family related adoptions.

      There is obviously no changing your mind, and I’m done. Thank you for your time (;

  5. Once you become a mother, it would be your income alone that qualifed you, you would not be seen as a dependent of your mother.

    I know, I did it, I did exactly what you are unwilling to do, raised my kid.

    Adoption does not “go both ways” no single baby wants to be abandoned. It is their biggest fear.

    Obviously, you don’t care. Well you may care someday and regret that you didn’t care when you still had a chance at a normal life.

    One thing I do know giving up a baby or being raised as an adoptee is way harder than raising a child. The pain is not temporary, in fact it increases over the decades of being separated from your family.

    • Stop being so closed minded, Lol. I do care. And I’m fed up with you. I’m not one to be mean, but you were just out looking for somebody you could criticize. You are one of those people with extreme opinions unwilling to change. It’s not like I’m scared, and It’s not like it’s not going to be hard. Also, mature up, learn how to spell “psychopath,” it’s not psychophants, or however you spelled it. And stop referring to us as “mcjerkface birth mothers,” HA! You may have a clever vocab, and some alright comebacks, but you really have no right to tell me “who” I am or “what” kind of person I am. You’re right, the pain isn’t temporary, but I am obviously a much stronger person than you to go on with my life and know the good things that come out of it. And like I said, a lot of babies are adopted within their families. But, it’s really whatever. I don’t need to prove myself to you. I have tons of support. Really, thank you for your wasted time.

  6. Ashley, i think your doing the right thing. if you cant provide for your daughter then why should she have to suffer? i completely understand what you mean.does this lady even KNOW anything about adoption? FYI there is such a thing as an OPEN ADOPTION where your still somewhat in your child’s life.

    Look if your going to argue with her about what to do with HER baby you obviously made a mistake in having a kid yourself, because Hun, your still acting like a teenager when your 30 and have a son, so honestly butt out of ASHLEY’S business.

    • Thanks, Nicole. Some people see it the way I do, although there are very many more reasons, and others just dont. Just like I’m sure I see things differently than others in other certain aspects of things. But thank you.

  7. I have to agree with Joy21 you can’t just all of the sudden get over something like that. its not something you can grow out of. knowing that you are adopted and that you’re mom didn’t want you. shit i know how it feels my mom just straight up told me and i was on my own. im 18 and pregnant. on my own with no family to help. i don’t live with my parents i don’t have everything bought for me. yet im still willing to try and make it on my own without anyone elses help. putting a child up for adoption is cruel and i 100% agree. regardless if joy21s spelling is wrong or anything else she made a very valid point on the issue of being abandoned. she went through it she should know. i know a couple of people who have been adopted and they haven’t made it seem very pleasable. they have had a rough life and had to struggle with the humilation of it growing up in high school and being made fun of for it. so maybe you should research it a bit more. the decision is yours in the end and you know this. but its not something you can let go of. imagine if your mom gave you away to a strange person. you wouldn’t feel the same way. a little piece of you. and since its an open adoption why would your daughter want to talk to you when she grows up knowing you just gave her to someone else? if i were in your daughters situation how ever many years from now thats something that is unforgivable. regardless of money issues. you can get grants to pay for school. i did it. i don’t have to use my parents taxes for the fact that i am pregnant. also child care is free. and you can get help from the government don’t make it seem like this is your one and only choice when it is far from it. you just need to grow up and take responsibilty for your mistake which was having unprotected sex at 17 and you knew what the consequences were but now you’re taking the easy way out.

    • This isnt to be rude AT ALL, but I knew that you were going to comment on this stephanie, lol.

      No one seems to understand, though. this isnt just about money. and no matter how many times I state why I’m doing this, everyone is going to believe what they believe

  8. um actually my name is not stephanie lol its michele
    no one will understand because its a horrible thing.
    grow up.
    take responsibility for your actions.

  9. haha no it didn’t. my email is neverxfadexaway@yahoo.com but thats okay 🙂

  10. The word is sycophant, I was referring to adopto moms who act like a woman who gives her baby away is doing a great thing because she wants it.

    Its a good word, it means toady who will tell you anything for their own gain.

    The thing is your daughter will suffer for being abandoned. You can go to college and get a job and take care of her.

    I think I would be really irresponsible not to counter the 14 billion dollar unregulated industry that promotes child abandonment. I mean as a responsible adult it is part of my duty to care about children. To see they aren’t exploited into carrying the burden of making some strangers “dream come true” especially when we are incapable of it.

    My post had nothing to do with you btw. I was referring to something else entirely.

    Some things to consider, you will have to tell any future children that you may have, although 40 % of women who relinquish don’t have other children as it is too painful, that you gave away their sibling.

    You will have to tell any boyfriend that you gave away your baby.

    This isn’t Juno, this isn’t a movie. I know raising my son, even though I was a poor college kid for awhile, was a cake walk compared to what my own mother went through relinquishing.

    • Damn, you’re so repetitive. Maybe if you would read closer. I said exactly that this wasnt juno or the secret life of the american teenager, and how in any way have i proved that it is? I’m seriously done with you. Theres no continuing this conversation. And damn, you’re acting like you know me. I wouldnt have a problem telling my FUTURE KIDS that i want to have, the truth. And you dont have to tell your boyfriend EVERY SINGLE thing, unless you are serious, and if you are serious, he will will love you no matter what! Just get off your closed minded, high horse, and POSSIBLY try to see things through someone elses eyes. I did. I do. And I admit it. Goodbye. Theres no use in replying, because I really won’t this time.

  11. im not being rude im simply stating my opinion. and i have no clue of who this stephanie person is.

    • When I looked up your never fade away email address, it came up as stephanie reeves. and when I looked up the aleconpoint, it came up as her boyfriend, or a mutual friend or something. This isnt even what it is about. Lol. Haha.

  12. get a damn life wow, shes letting people WHO CANNOT HAVE KIDS raise her daughter because she cant. its NONE of anyone’s business why that may be, what if you couldn’t have kids and wanted a baby so bad and just couldn’t have one, honestly i think if you were on the receiving end you wouldn’t be criticizing. its bitches like you who need lives instead of trying to make people feel like shit for doing the right thing.
    ARE YOU 2 FUCKING YEARS OLD??…didn’t think so so butt the hell out, get a damn life, and if your not going to be respectful, keep your mouths shut.

    ITS HER BABY NOT YOURS SO FUCK OFF.!!

    kbye (:

  13. haha anyone wanna start more shit??
    didnt think so.
    if so…
    lets go, im ready (:

  14. the work computer types in random emails that are logged into on the computer. my name is michele. look me up on stephanies friends. its michele renee lol. you are ridiculous.

  15. Good heavens. Miss joy21, you fail to understand that not everyone is like you. Life is nowhere as simple as statistics and as you claim it to be. Extrapolating a child’s life from adoption to adulthood is impossible. Also, certain conditions keep people from having a child, even though they want it so dearly.

    A child’s emotions on adoption simply depend on their upbringing by the adopters.

    A baby is like a freshly poured slab of concrete- once poured, people can inscribe things into it, memories, dates, etc.

    But at the same time, it is not an object to be thrown around at a moment’s leisure. Ashley is already taking what I would consider a frightening path through life with as much courage as she can muster, and I am proud of her for it.

    Also, it should be noted (duly, as a matter of fact) that Ashley is NOT a stupid nor ignorant person.

    She knows what she’s doing, and you should simply respect and cheer her on for it, not criticize her for not doing what you did or what an Ivy League school recommends for optimal child rearing or what not.

  16. Okay. All of you are being very close minded..everyone lives a different life and has different things happening in theirs. She is simply doing what is right for her and what she thinks would be better for this baby. thats not wrong at all. it doesnt matter if you were a teen parent and managed fine, so am i but unlike all of you i get that the same thing is just not right for everyone. you dont know what her life is like? for all you know she could live in a drug house..not that she does,sorry ashley..i hope you get what im trying to say. She is making the right choice for her and i respect her for that and i dont even know her..and maybe you should to. there is no reason for all of you to sit here and bash her just because you do not agree. and her daughter is being abandoned someone said? are u fckn crazy..its not like shes leaving her on the street..she is giving her to a family that will raise her and love her. and thats a very good thing. she just wants whats best for her child..and that is NOT wrong at all.

  17. I think that there is something different for everyone, but im highly offended that you are saying teenage pregnancy is horrible, im pregnant with a baby boy in nov. and im doing this all by myself, and i never once saw this to be horrible, this is an experience you can never take back, and something you can never replace. maybe you should think a little harder about how you say things because if you think pregnancy is so horrible you shouldnt have been laying down spreading your legs at all! if your gonna have sex, you need to take full responsibility for your actions.

    • honestly, this isnt about PUNISHING her for having sex. The deed is done she already had sex. NOW she has a child, another life to take care of. Keeping the baby would be cruel to the baby because she doesnt have the benefits of most teenage mothers.

      Another thing is Ashley didnt say pregnancy is horrible she said TEENAGE pregnancy is horrible. It is, and if you think it is a glorious thing than stop watching t.v. and deal with it yourself.

  18. lol dang alot of comments!!! well this is what i think im not trying to fight with you but if you had sex and all that crap thne u should be responsible enough to take care of your baby girl… let her stay with you..?! if not i dont see why you took the chance of makin the mistake and having sex…

  19. & i dont know how your life an family situation is but i can sure assure you that mine was wayy worse & never in my mind did it come for me to give up my baby… I kept him and yes i did struggle alot!!! bcuz for some time me n the dad werent together but still now we are… neways idkk what to say… i just wished you kept herr 🙂

  20. To give up your child you need to be strong. As much as i would like to see you keep your baby girl, there’s someone out there that can provide for her so much more. She truly will have a great life, and I hope one day you guys are reunited as mother and daughter. That is a very strong bond. I will pray for you, but I’m kind of hoping that you’ll will change your mind and decide to keep your baby. Though it may not be the best for her to grow up in such an environment, it’ll be nice to say you kept her.
    God bless.

  21. Also why do you reply to people who come to you with all this nonsense?

    • Im not sure, but I’m going to stop. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, really. And posting this out there like this, is asking for it, But some people go overboard. Thanks, by the way. Never know what the future holds.

  22. Ashley, i think your doing the right thing. One day your daughter will thank you. 🙂

  23. all kids that go through adoption will go through that sense of abandonment when they find out that they are adopted. but you know what is right for your daughter ashley. you’ll choose a good family. and when that family comes along, you’ll just know. you’ll know that that’s them. sure, not everyone out there needs to adopt a kid, but hopefully those people that are putting their kids up for adoption have the brains to actually pick out the people who are right and those who don’t need to adopt. i’m behind you on whatever you think is right. not all mistakes turn out bad. you know you made a mistake, but you love your baby girl, and that’s what matters. she’ll love you too for the rest of her life, no matter what you decide to do. keep it up ashley, keep staying strong:)

  24. I must say, I kind of agree with the whole adoption thing being a bad memory for kids. By fiance was adopted and so was his best friend. Both of them feel like the “black sheep” in their family. I mean their family treats them exactly the same as anyone else in their family. They just feel out of place. One thing that really made me realize how he must feel, is when I finally had our baby, he was sooo happy because he said he finally knew someone that looked like him. I don’t know, I mean it is your choice in the end, and I must say you are kind of brave to be doing that, it must be hard. But then again, me being a mother to a 3 week old baby, it’s pretty dang hard and challenging. I love every moment of it though. It’s not impossible. And I think the best thing for any child is being with their Mommy. My opinion.

  25. Wowww, it takes great strength to give up a life you creatd to give her a chance, a chance of a real happy life. I really respect you for beign so selfless. Good luck with everything!!

  26. Ashley i went to school with you and i had no idea any of this happend last year. I feel so bad for you and at the same time i realize how much strength it takes to make the right decision for both you and ur baby. I admire u. You are thinking about the baby’s wellbeing and yours at the sametime. Im sorry that it had to happen this way and not in a more mature part of ur life when you are equipt to take care of it with both a willing father and mother. But just remember you are making the right decision. it’s not easy but i commend you. IF you ever need to talk. we’re friends on facebook, my cell # is on my info. just to say. i know we were never friends we just know who each other are. i just know you can never have too much support during a time like this.

    • Wow, Mara! Haha, we definitely haven’t talked much, you’re right. I think maybe once in ISS 😛 ha! But for real, though, Thank you. Yeah, a lot of people had no idea last year. I wasn’t showing at all and I was already in my second month. It wasnt towards the VERY end that they started to find out. And a lot of bad stuff happened within that time that took a LOT of strength. Thank you for having faith in me and offering your support. My cell is also on my page, and you can text or call me any time you need to talk as well. But, thank you again. Your support and words really really do mean the world. I can’t say it enough

  27. Ashley,
    I am the mother of a friend of one of your friends. I am now the mother of 4 wonderful kids. Love is always, always, always about the other person. You keep saying how much you love your little baby girl. Obviously, you do. There could be nothing harder or more selfless than to give up something (or in this case, someone) you love so dearly. But you understand that your decision is for the good of your baby daughter, not for your own selfishness. You are truly being a “mother” and setting yourself up to be a wonderful mother to more children later down the road. My hope is that you will have the opportunity to speak and maybe write about this someday. What an inspiration you could be to so many other teen moms!!! God bless, dear girl!!

    • Thank, you! I do hope to be an inspiration. I hope no one has to go through this. It is very hard. And thank you for your kind words. I’ve never thought of things exactly that way, and I’m glad somebody actually can. Thank you, again.

  28. Why on earth can anyone think abandoning a child is loving?

    That is just crazy.

  29. This was written by a birthmother very educated in adoption.

    I hope you take the time to read it.

    Good luck to you and your child.

    http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pdf . . .

  30. Dearest Ashley, I am so sorry. I did not read this page before I commented on your recent post. Now that I see these comments, I feel weird about my post to you. I hope it does not upset you. (((((HUGS Ashley))))))

  31. is there anyway your going to keep her?

  32. hey im not trying to make you change your mind or anything like that i admire you for what you are about to do and it will be the hardest thing you will ever have to do in your entire life, i am an adopted child and i grew up with identity issues and had the hardest life ever just because i felt i was abandon and everything like that i jsut turned 18 and my real mother added me on facebook i wish so much i would have grown up with her and known who she was my whole entire life but i did have a much better life because of adoption and got a much better education in a way better city than if i was to live with her i just hope u will consider a completely open adoption so your daughter is able to be in your life and i think she will have a much easier time with your decision, good luck with everything and i cant wait to see your episode of 16 && pregnant..
    remember be selfless and strong
    xoxo
    melanie

  33. if i am correct, joy21, you believe abortion is humane.
    so are you saying you would rather be dead and not even be on this earth for more than 3 months, or adopted like you are.

    I love you so much Ash and you are doing a wonderful job. I know that you are still struggling a little, and you will always have that love for “Addison” in your heart.

    As for Michele Renee or whoever you are, she NEVER SAID SHE WAS FULLY OVER IT.

    She loves her baby, and I can see that just by her blogs.

    I love you Ash and I’m here for you anytime you need me.

    JOY21! DO YOU KNOW JESUS CHRIST?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: